The Individual Guide

Hey Me! Get Out Of My Way

By David Stoddard

How often it is we give up wanting to do something even before we give ourselves an honest chance of succeeding.

Perhaps, we begin writing our autobiography. We get the table of contents and the introduction written, then we let it sit because we don’t think anyone will care.

We begin a diet over a weekend. Within a couple of days, we are back to our normal habits because we didn’t see any immediate results.

Maybe we want to start a desktop publishing business. We get it started and the clients start coming in sooner than we expected. Because of our past experiences where we have been so good at what we did, we only remember getting bombarded with more and more work when we wish we could have taken a break. We may see how this can end up, so we slack off and let the business of our dreams fade away.

Or maybe we have this idea of having our own place on the Internet. We create a page, then we have different ideas to put on it. Then we think of starting a business with it. Then we also want to have a newsletter for people. Then we want to do web pages for others. Then we go back and work on ways to get people to read our newsletter. But we need a better web site. So we start from scratch and the circle continues. Having too many things we would like to do can stop us as well.

Personally, I’ve become an expert at getting out of my own way when it comes to doing things. After all, I have gotten in my own way over and over and over again for years.

I still fit the last one. So many different areas that interest me, I have jumped from one thing to another to another. Like many of the books on the bookshelf at home, I don’t think I have ever finished one of them all the way through.

We stop ourselves in any number of ways.

- I’m not good enough: Well, on Monday, a group of students will be given a lecture by the worst teacher. The worst actor will star in a made-for-television movie. And the worst boy band will put on a mini show for friends and family in their garage.

- No one will be interested: Just look around at some of the things you see on television or read in newspapers or books or magazines. It is amazing some things have lasted this long.

- I’m too old/young: Colonel Sanders was in his eighties when he began his Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant. Anne Frank was a young girl when she wrote her diary which is still published and read to this very day throughout the world.

- I don’t know what I want to do: You may not know exactly what you want to do, but there is something in the back of your mind that is important. Especially if you know you’re not happy in what you are doing now, you know there is more you want out of life.

- I want to do too much: No one says you can’t do a little of everything. Just have to pick one that will set the groundwork for the others. Find what is the common thread in the things you would like, and start there. You can branch off once that foundation is in place.

- The universe is out to get me: Ummmmm. Not at all. Once you make up your mind and begin heading in some direction, the universe will open up in ways you can’t see right now. People will come into your life, events will take place, and you will begin to see a bit further each day. But you have to make the first moves.

Motivational speaker Les Brown in his book “It’s Not Over Until You Win,” tells a story of a keynote speaker at a National Speakers Association conference he attended. The speaker was perhaps the worst speaker Les had ever heard. The man spoke in a monotone voice and was dull as a butter knife. By the end of his presentation, more than two-thirds of the audience had walked out.

The speaker, noticing this said something that pretty much sums up this column.

“The reason I am up here (Doing) and you are sitting down there (watching) is because I represent the thoughts you have rejected for yourself.”

Give yourself a chance and get out of your own way.

David has been getting in and out of his own way a lot over the years. When he has gotten out of the way, he has managed to write two booklets “In Search Of Ourselves” And “Que Sera Sera - The Book” He also writes a monthly newsletter available from his website “Terrific Life Concepts” Visit him online at http://www.djstoddard.net/

January is synonymous with resolutions and getting organized is high on many people’s list. Unfortunately, perhaps some of us make a resolution, when what we really want is a revolution.

Twenty years of accumulated excess weight to disappear in twenty weeks or twenty years of accumulated excess possessions, to find a happy home in twenty minutes. Maybe a more realistic approach would be an evolution — “a process of continuous, natural change from a lower or worse, to a higher or better state,” according to Webster.

Human behavior is not like computer software. It cannot be installed. It has to be nurtured. To bring order into our lives, in whatever area we choose, whether it is loosing weight, managing our finances, spending more time with our family, or finding a more fulfilling job, we must nurture our own behavior. One area of my life that is a constant struggle is exercise and healthy eating. As a young child my body caused me lots of problems and I tried hard to ignore it. I subconsciously developed a sense of disdain for my body because it constantly seemed to let me down. I learned to mask some of the pain, at least temporarily, by eating. Several years ago while doing some deep soul searching, I recognized that until I learned to manage my body, I could not find the peace and self-respect I was seeking. So I made a commitment that I would begin to nurture a change in my attitude toward my body by applying organizing skills.

In working with thousands of people over more than 20 years, I’ve discovered there are five components to successfully changing any habit: (1) Vision, (2) Attitude, (3) Time, (4) Tools, and (5) Maintenance. I decide to practice what I preached and apply that knowledge to my own struggle with exercise. Here’s the scenario:

Vision: My vision of a healthy body means wearing a size 12 suit comfortably, not having a backache, exercising regularly without inappropriate discomfort, and eating healthy food most of the time, so I can splurge periodically without feeling guilty.

Attitude: In the past I always focused on my failures, but it isn’t difficult to look around and find people who have much more severe physical problems than I do that have healthy bodies. I knew that if I was going to accomplish my vision of a health body, I would have to eliminate all my excuses about my lack of exercise and poor eating habits — I don’t have time, it’s difficult when I’m traveling, it’s raining outside, it isn’t a safe neighborhood to run, there isn’t anything healthy in an airport, etc. I began to use Noah St. John’s approach of “affirmations.” Instead of “affirmations”– saying, “I have a healthy body.” I began asking the question, “Why is my body so healthy?” Since your brain automatically seeks answers, it was immediately easier to keep looking for ways to be healthy! Don’t ask me to explain how it works - just try it!

Time: One of the interesting things I discovered in helping people to organize their homes and offices is that frequently it takes less time to be successful than people anticipate. Perhaps that’s because we overestimate how long it takes to do the things we don’t like and underestimate how much time we spend on the things we do like? I started out by using a system called Fit 10, an isometric exercise that takes 10 minutes a day. I knew that if I didn’t have that much time, I wasn’t really committed to my vision. A few years later, I decided to work out with a personal trainer. The one I wanted is 30 minutes from my house. I committed to two days a week. At the appointed time, I hopped in the car, popped in a audiotape, and by the end of the first side, I was ready to exercise. On the way home I listened to the end of the second side. Now I could exercise my body and my brain at the same time!

Tools: One of the big advantages of Fit ten is that I can do it in my bedroom before I’m tempted by outside factors to postpone exercise. In addition, it fits in my suitcase, and I can exercise in my hotel room, eliminating the excuses of “I don’t like to exercise in public,” or “I’m not sure this is a safe neighborhood to take a walk”, etc.

Maintenance: Now the hard part -maintaining my resolve. My conclusion is that as long as I keep reviewing the first four factors, my vision now includes participating in a public walking event before I reach 60. I did Fit 10 alone for almost three years, but began to get bored, so adding the encouragement (and new tools!) of a personal trainer, put be back on track!

What evolution are you looking for this year? Whatever it is, be kind to yourself, and make sure that you’ve covered all the five steps. Need some help? Find someone else who has a New Year’s Resolution and do it together!

© Barbara Hemphill is the author of Kiplinger’s Taming the Paper Tiger at Work and Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and co-author of Love It or Lose It: Living Clutter-Free Forever. The mission of Hemphill Productivity Institute is to help individuals and organizations create and sustain a productive environment so they can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives. We do this by organizing space, information, and time. We can be reached at 800-427-0237 or at www.ProductiveEnvironment.com

BS”D

The Secret of Getting Free

“The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get.” Anonymous

SO MUCH TO DO - SO LITTLE TIME

Cell phones. Email. Video conferencing. The World Wide Web.

A couple of decades ago, who could have imagined the world we
take for granted today?

With such instantaneous access to information and communication,
we can do lots of things at once. Obviously, this means we can
accomplish much more in much less time. And this in turn leaves
us with much more satisfaction and fulfillment, as well as more
time to enjoy it.

Right?

TECHNOLOGICAL MIRACLES - A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD

These technological miracles have made things possible that were
never even imaginable before. But at the same time they have
created an intense pressure to have more, do more and be more.

It used to be that we would compare ourselves to the Jones’s who
lived down the block. The pressure of keeping up with the
Jones’s was stressful enough. Now we probably don’t even have
the time to get to know our neighbors the Jones’s, but we are
aware of the Smiths who built that big, beautiful house with the
pool a few blocks away. And we notice the mansions, the
expensive cars, the flashy careers, the personal trainers, the
perfect bodies, unlined faces, fat wallets, flat stomachs and
hot love lives of the people we see in the movies, on
television, in novels and magazines.

THE SLAVERY OF HAVING IT ALL

“YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!” they scream out at you - ” and if you
don’t, there’s something wrong with you and your life. Just buy
this (gadget, car, self-help book…) and you’ll feel the way you
long to feel!”

“You can have it all - and you would if you just got off your
lazy incompetent, unlucky behind and do what it takes! Just
start this (business, diet, workout regimen) - and then your
life will start being what it should be!”

Bombarded from every direction, we can hardly help but respond.
We try harder, run faster and work longer, racing at breakneck
speed like mad hamsters on the wheel from hell.

No one expects to keep running forever. We all intend to stop -
just as soon as we get where we’re going. When we’re satisfied
with where we are.

The unfortunate paradox is: the faster you run and the more you
do, the less satisfied you will probably be.

Here’s the secret: There’s nowhere to get. It doesn’t work that
way. Life doesn’t stand still and let us take shots at it until
we hit the bullseye and win the prize. Life is a moving target.

WE LIVE IN UNIQUE TIMES

We live in unique times - times in which we actually can
accomplish far more, in quantity and quality, than ever before.
This in itself is a wonderful thing.

So where are we going wrong?

We have begun to believe that because we can accomplish, we
must. That if something desirable exists, and we don’t have it,
we can’t be fulfilled. That if there’s some standard out there,
in whatever area of life, and we don’t meet it, we’ve failed.

So, first we have to accomplish it all, have it all, ‘make it’,
and then we can relax, kick back, and start to be ourselves.

Within this paradigm, instead of providing us with freedom, our
increased opportunities are turning us into slaves.

“HAVING IT ALL” IS NOT THE POINT

You can work on having the right body - the kind we see in all
the magazines and movies - but even if you do manage to succeed
in dieting and exercising yourself to perfection - an unlikely
prospect for most of us - you will inevitably age and lose the
perfection you tried so hard to create.

You can work on making the right amount of money - and you may
or may not succeed. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with money,
in and of itself. If used in the right ways, money can be a
wonderful thing. But interestingly, the people who enjoy the
most money and ’success’ - celebrities - often have the least
enduring satisfaction in life, as evidenced by their heavy drug
use and high divorce rates.

You can work on acquiring the right house, sometimes a bigger
one than you can afford, even though by the time you get it - if
you ever do - your kids may be grown and it may be time to
downsize; to get rid of all the stuff you’ve accumulated by the
sweat of your brow.

Or, you can work on finding the perfect love - the kind you read
about in novels and see on film. The problem is that in real
life people aren’t always slick, polished, adoring, witty and
immortal. They get angry, pass gas, have bad breath, get
wrinkles, complain, bore us and get disillusioned with us, too.

THE SECRET OF FREEDOM: MANNA FROM HEAVEN

Between the liberation from slavery in Egypt and entering into
the Promised Land, there was a forty-year period where the
Jewish people wandered through the desert. That forty-year
period provided a necessary transition between slavery and
freedom, between exile and redemption.

In the desert there was nothing to eat. So, G-d provided a
special food - manna - that fell from Heaven each day. The
people in the desert didn’t have to do anything to make the
manna appear. All they had to do was go out to the field and
collect it.

And, no matter how much or how little a person picked up, when
he got home, he always had exactly the right amount of manna to
satisfy him for that day. No more and no less.

The manna was miraculous. And, unlike many miracles, its
miraculous nature was too obvious to mistake. Because it was
impossible to collect too much or too little, it was glaringly
obvious to everyone that their survival was directly in the
hands of Heaven.

True, each person had to do his part - to go out and collect his
manna for the day - but that was it.

FROM SLAVERY TO FREEDOM

Kabbalah explains that this miraculous way of being holds an
essential message for us today.

We are living through the climax of history, a time predicted by
the prophets of long ago. During this time we, too, are making a
transition between slavery and freedom, between exile and
redemption. Our task is to reconnect with our Creator, our own
Divine essence, our authentic power and purpose, and each other.

Because of the unique nature of these times, you have access to
an entirely new level of your soul and its innate powers -
powers like freedom, creativity, purpose, joy and fulfillment.

But paradoxically, these powers cannot be accessed by trying
harder and running faster. Your soul’s self-expression cannot be
based on the illusion that your survival - and your success - is
entirely up to you. No matter what the Jones’s or the Smiths
believe, your freedom and fulfillment won’t come out of the mad
rush to ‘have it all’.

DO YOU WANT TO BE FREE?

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for
myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel, Ethics
of the Fathers)

As human beings we have an innate drive to create, to make
things happen, to make a difference. You do that, in one way or
another, with every action you take. The important question is:
Do you do it as a free person or as a slave?

We all want to be free. Free from debt. Free from worry. Free
from fat. Free from stress. But true freedom doesn’t come from
something outside of yourself. If you are depending on that
something to make you free, you’re already a slave.

True freedom comes from the inside - from a deep and powerful
connection to who you truly are and why you’re here. From that
place, connected to the Source, you can create things you never
thought possible. You can generate miracles in your own life and
in the lives of others.

When you’re a slave you are dependent on other people and
outside circumstances for your well-being - for your very
survival. You’re full of needs. Without having those needs met
you simply can’t be who you truly are. And since it’s impossible
to ‘have it all” - you remain a slave.

When you’re free, you may still want things. And you can
certainly strive to make things happen. But as a desire, not as
a need. As an expression of who you authentically are.

Like the Jews in the desert, you will still have to go out to
the field each day to collect your portion of manna. But you can
do it peacefully, happily, confidently, trustingly. Not like a
slave. Like someone who’s free.

THE KEY TO FREEDOM

The key to freedom is to know that you are here on earth as a
soul in a body. To know that you are here for a reason, with a
mission, a mission that can be carried out by you and you alone.
And last but certainly not least, to know that G-d is lovingly
supervising every moment of your life, providing you with the
precise circumstances - both gifts and challenges - that will
help you to fulfill that mission.

If you start from this premise, then nothing can ever be wrong.
Regardless of what your life looks like today, it’s simply the
perfect starting point for your soul’s self-expression. It’s an
opportunity to create joy, power, love, connection, peace,
trust, intimacy, generosity - or whatever it is that you crave
when you’re authentically you.

And when you live life from that place of freedom - miracles
inevitably happen.

© 2005 Shifra Hendrie, www.KabbalahOfTransformation.com

Most people have no idea where their money goes. They earn it and they spend it.

That’s fine if you want to live from week to week and are not concerned about your financial future. However if you want to increase your wealth and have more options, action needs to be taken by you otherwise you could end up like most people further down the track, totally dependant on a pension.

Karen’s Story

Karen is the Marketing Manager for a well-known organisation. She’s 39 yrs old, single and earns over $80k a year. She is paying off a mortgage and that’s all the debt she has.

Karen buys whatever she likes and says she has more than enough money for her lifestyle…or so she thought. And that’s a very important point - Karen ‘thought’ she had plenty of money to splash around yet she had no real idea of where it went.

She was at the stage where she wanted to achieve more in her life including taking charge of her financial future.

One of the exercises I gave her to do was to sort all her financial statements - visa card, bank accounts and any cash receipts and list her income and expenditure under specific headings ie: loans, clothing, utilities, food etc. Karen recorded everything that occurred for the past 6 months . She nearly fainted when she saw how much money she had wasted and how much she was overspending! She was going backwards fast and only realised it by doing this simple exercise.

In the past Karen hadn’t put a high priority on her financial well-being as it was just too hard. Being a marketing manager, her life was busy at work and she had a hectic social life. She didn’t want to bother doing something that wasn’t exciting like working on her financial future. After all, she had a well-paid job, didn’t she?

Karen has now come to her senses and knows her true financial situation. If she lost her job, financially she couldn’t afford to be off work for more than a month. She realises that she is responsible for her future.

The area of wealth creation hadn’t been of great interest to Karen in the past. Now that she was undertaking coaching, she was serious to making a change. Prior to writing down where her money was going, Karen was completely closed to any suggestion to read more about how she can accelerate her wealth (or lack of it), so I didn’t pursue this with her. Her attitude had now changed so she was ready and willing to move to the next step.

The next move…I referred Karen to an organisation who would look at her total financial picture and be able to recommend what she could do. The reason I chose these people is because they take a holistic approach to wealth creation. They look at every aspect and provide an on-going education as well as a hand-holding service.

We met after her first session and Karen said she nearly had a heart attack at the meeting. She realised how much money she had been giving away to the tax office. Being on such a high income she was being taxed 47c for every dollar earned. She now realised that by making some small changes she could keep this money and have investments that over time would accelerate her financial situation dramatically.

She now had enough knowledge to make decisions and take actions that could make her financially independent over the next few years. Karen couldn’t believe how simple it was!

Your Financial Future - Whose Responsibility?

Unfortunately you cannot leave your financial well-being in the hands of anyone else except yourself.

Of course, you can seek advice from professionals in that field like accountants and financial planners; however, it really is up to you to lead the way …to be proactive!

Having attended many seminars, spoken to wealthy people and to the financial professionals (many of whom aren’t independently wealthy themselves), and read many books on the topic of wealth creation, I have found you cannot rely on any one person to delegate your financial affairs to. You need to be proactive and take control of your own life.

How to Take Control of Your Financial Future

Get your finances in order first: You need to know what you spend, what you earn, how much you owe and how much you own…Not in your head but in writing. What you think your situation is and what is reality, will more than likely be two totally different scenarios.

If you know where you are right now you can then seek out appropriate solutions to your specific financial needs.

How to Get Started

Speak with your accountant on the best way to set up your recording system.

Ask them how you can increase your wealth.

Ask your accountant and/or your financial advisor how they have created their wealth. What do they invest in?

Talk to people who are wealthy. Ask them how they accumulated their wealth.

Question everything.

Read books and attend seminars on wealth creation…the more informed you are the easier it is to make sound decisions. We regularly advertise these types of events in our Event Update: http://www.office-organiser.com.au/weeklyupdate.html

Don’t believe everything you hear, see and read, particularly if the person advising you reaps financial benefit from you accepting their advice.

Only listen to people who “have rungs on the ladder”. Once you’ve have done some research (and this can happen in a matter of days or weeks, depending on your efforts) then:

Take action

Sure you’ll make mistakes along the way, however that’s the only way you can progress. Learn from them and move on.

The Final Word

Looking after your financial well-being should be high on your priorities. It’s about having choices in your life. Do you really want to work from dawn to dusk to support the lifestyle you and your family have become accustomed to? Perhaps you don’t get to enjoy the lifestyle because you’re too busy busting your guts at work.

Imagine what it would be like to work because you want to, not because you have to?

If financial freedom is something you desire in the not too distant future (and it doesn’t happen overnight), you have to take action sometime… like right now!

About The Author

Lorraine Pirihi, principal of The Office Organiser (http://www.office-organiser.com.au) is Australia’s Personal Productivity Coach

Lorraine specialises in working with businesspeople showing them how to dramatically boost their productivity, reduce the stress and the mess in their lives and have more time for enjoying their life.

We Offer a Broad Range of Services and Products including: Coaching for small business owners and professionals, keynote presentations and workshops, books, CD’s, DVD’s and on-line learning programs.

Take action today! Contact Lorraine to discuss your specific needs at lorraine@office-organiser.com.au